My life is in edit. Allow me to explain.
1. The Book:
After years of writing and investing in a young women’s Bible study curriculum, I am finally in the editing stage. It is emotional, annoying, and to be honest, sometimes feels entirely pointless.
I put a string of words together once. I thought they sounded decent once.
I read them now, and promptly plant my face in my palm. I am tempted to leave it be, to send it to a publisher, as-is. But I know it is not ready. This book is not what it needs to be, yet. (“Yet” is such a painful word.)
Here’s a little poem describing my editing process these past few nights:
Open doc, stare at clock…
Rub face, erase…
Type fast, change past…
Failing sight, goodnight…
Hope you liked it … it’s exhausting.
2. The Home
After moving into our new home, we decided to make a few improvements. Our periwinkle wall called for a paint job. Before we rolled on the first coat of “Summer Heat,” we found that the blue-ish paint was peeling.
What’s under the blue paint? Ooh, pretty red.
“I like it, let’s just peel it and leave it,” I said.
“Let’s see what’s under the paneling,” Shane said.
And so, a little peeling of paint turned into a demolition of a wall. Our “living” room is now a “renovation” room….
…..a pink renovation room (more on this in later posts).
3. The Life
Lately, my day to day “living” also feels more like day to day “renovating.” (I think we Christians call this “sanctification.”)
Every time I open my Bible, I can sense God’s cursor highlighting some of my life-statements. Clearly there is a grammatical error in my heart. And my attitude has some sentence-structure that needs some repair. There is no sense of “flow,” from my words to my actions. My purpose is choppy, and each paragraph in my day includes too many “themes.”
So I stop opening God’s Word (yep, I avoid it too). I stop exposing myself to this “editing process.” I don’t like it. It involves too many “yets.” It creates too many “face-palms.”
I’d rather do a quick paint job to cover it up. Please God, don’t lay me bare to the dry-wall of my soul! It’s messy down there. It needs a lot more work than just a simple peeling. There are cracks and flaws. It’s going to take too long. It will be exhausting. I just want to move on!
Thank goodness He doesn’t leave me this way!
So, I am in edit. I will be in edit for a long time.
I hope to get this book polished very soon. And, for the record, I think our living room has great potential now that the paneling is gone. And Shane promises to be the home-improvement rock-star. I look forward to the day we relax in the rusty hues of “Summer Heat” in our living room.
But the renovation, the sanctification, and the editing process of my life will not be done. I am work-in progress… I just thank Jesus for his faithfulness to shape me with grace.
How has He been shaping you? What is your favorite verse for this Life-in-Edit business?
Do you ever experience a divine intervention? You know, when you hear a sermon or a Bible study explained, and the Holy Spirit just hits you straight in the heart with the truth He has for you?
Sometimes, the message wasn’t even heading in the direction for which it pierces our soul. The passage could be on tithing, to which we become overwhelmed by the love of God to walk with us so intimately. (This is actually how a friend of mine accepted Christ as Savior!)
A similar thing happened to me just the other day (read about it here).
Friends, let’s meditate on this today: How incredible is God’s Word! To speak so directly and personally and intimately to our hearts; to transform and shape our minds; to encourage and discipline our motives… this is the Word of God!
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways.” This is the Lord ’s declaration. “For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For just as rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout, and providing seed to sow and food to eat, so My word that comes from My mouth will not return to Me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do.” You will indeed go out with joy and be peacefully guided; the mountains and the hills will break into singing before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. (Isaiah 55:8-12 HCSB)
How has God spoken to you this week? Feel free to share your story by commenting below!