I take back everything I said about making it to 37 weeks. I just finished 38 weeks of pregnancy, and today I begin week 39. If I didn’t know any better, I’d be looking for the candid camera. We expected to be induced this past week, but my womb was not “favorable.” Honestly, I was at the breaking point of my convictions of birth, ready to just get it over with. God’s grace provided a doctor who raised my flag for me when I no longer could. I am so blessed Dr. Damron understands the human body, the medical advances available, and my ultimate wishes to have a vaginal birth… and that he is willing to contend for the best scenario possible for us!
38 Weeks: July 13-19
I spent the first half of the week trying every home-induction idea available. By Monday, I was in complete breakdown mode:
- I still hadn’t felt a single contraction,
- we were heading to Billings the next day for an exam
- I expected to return later in the week with babies in tow.
- Emotions of my inadequacy to become a parent overwhelmed me
The Lord worked marvelously through friends and family to speak truth to my trembling heart. Will I ever reach the end of His grace for me?
- Encouraging chat with a friend over bagels
- I got home excited and a bit nervous for our appointment, thinking Shane would be pulling his hair out too… Alas, he was playing bluegrass tunes with our neighbor, completely relaxed. I am so grateful for a grounded husband.
- a peaceful drive and encouraging conversation with the love of my life.
- Worst moment of the week: the cervix check from hades (I will never again laugh at a man getting kicked in the nuts)
- Surprise! My cervix is indeed stoic. (I have been comparing it to Helm’s deep of LOTR)
- A bit of frustrated processing our options and eventual decision to follow our blessed Doctor’s advice and head home and wait it out
- Another delicious trip to A&W (we are calling these trips to Billings our little Root-Beer-Float runs).
- Sleeping soundly for the first time in several days
- I dreamt about our beautiful babies all night
- Funniest moment of the week: During one dream, I was talking to our little girl, and she was cooing back at me in the sweetest little voice imaginable. I woke up to the sound of my stuffy nose “cooing” the same sound. Thank you congested sinuses for the sweet dream stimulation.
- I spent the day relaxed and at peace, visiting friends and shopping with my mom.
- I had a couple “cramp-like” feelings, but nothing rhythmic
- Ended the night with swollen feet but a happy heart
- The air-conditioning was set to 67 and I was still sweating all night.
- I was pretty restless and somewhat nauseous throughout the night as well.
- I woke up with a new resident in my pelvis… it appears a bowling ball has replaced my baby down there.
- Took an intense hike/walk during a hazy sunset. So happy that my future isn’t hazy to God.
- Watched “the Hobbit” with that good-lookin’ man of mine.
- No matter how hard I concentrate, I just can’t seem to “catch” any more labor symptoms.
- Perused pictures of twins on pinterest: Can we get on with this already?! I can’t wait to meet my babies!
- Efficiently mastered the art of nap, eat, walk, nap, eat, walk. Trying to stay rested just in case.
Lullaby of the week: Here’s My Heart. Crowder beckons us to come to Christ, offer Him our heart and listen to the truth He will speak to us:
I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I’m made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free
‘Cause You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through
You are more than enough
You are here, You are love
You are hope, You are grace
You’re all I have, You’re everything
Truth I’m dwelling on: Romans 8 explains how all of creation experience the birth-pains of waiting for God’s people to be redeemed:
19 For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility—not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it—in the hope 21 that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of corruption into the glorious freedom of God’s children. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now. 23 And not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits—we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24 Now in this hope we were saved, yet hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience.
I read this passage every day, remembering this patience for birth is just a minuscule example of the patience our world experiences for the perfection Christ will bring us to in the end. I want to yearn for Him in my life so much more than I do for this birth.
Looking forward to: Worshipping God through the glorious event of giving birth to our twins, whenever and however it happens.
Questions for the Mamas:
What was your must-have song for your Delivery-day playlist?
- Both Babies will be head-down when I go into labor.
- I go into labor spontaneously before our appointment on Monday, so we can avoid Pitocin
- That we will glorify our Savior and Sustainer, Jesus Christ, no matter what happens
- For a spirit of humility to be cultivated in our two children starting now (they have received so much attention over the last couple weeks, you’d think the world revolved around them… and they are playing it up!)
I’m not making any more promises for when these babies will show up, but I trust God will deliver them in His perfect timing.