Category Archives: Being a lady

Becky’s First Book is Now Live on Kickstarter!

Joyfully Ever After is a book and video-based, coming-of-age Bible study for young women.

Recommended for ages 15 through 22, this curriculum is designed to be studied in a small group, or in a mentorship duo with a mother or trusted friend.

Through Biblical teaching and compelling stories, Joyfully Ever After will:

  • Empower young women to embrace their identities as children of God.
  • Catalyze mentorship relationships, which are the foundation of lasting discipleship. (Mentor Guide and Group Discussion Guide included in every copy)
  • Extravagantly commemorate each commitment to godly womanhood with a lavish celebration. (An event planning guide, included in the book, will help you dream up all the details for your Jubilee.)

Let’s encourage our young ladies, “your relationship with Jesus matters—let’s celebrate it!”

Count me in!

By supporting this project on Kickstarter, you are not only helping to publish Joyfully Ever After, you will also be the first to receive a copy of the Bible study!

Backer Rewards are based on donation, including:

  • $10 – e-book
  • $20 – e-book + Teaching Video Codes
  • $25 – Softcover Bible Study (signed by Becky) + Teaching Video Codes
  • $50 – Mother-Daughter Set
  • $150 – Group Set

For champion backers, you will receive a signed copy of the book, online access codes to the videos, and the following extras:

  • $500 – Legacy Reward (acknowledgement in Joyfully Ever After)
  • $1000 – Event Speaker Reward (Becky will wave her speaking fees for your event AND acknowledge you or your church/organization in the book)

Ready to join the Joyfully Ever After journey?

Visit now to make your pledge!
(You won’t be charged until May 1st, and only if the project goal is met).

The goal of Joyfully Ever After is to celebrate, identify, and discover our relationship with God as His daughters and ambassadors. I loved all of it. It has definitely grown my faith.

—Zoie J., High School Senior


Coming soon to e-book and paperback on!


Let Go of Tidy Faith 

I am not a neat freak. At least when it comes to our home, my bedroom, and my hairstyle.tidy faith large

Unfortunately, I can be a perfectionist of presentation when it comes to my faith.

When life presents difficult moments, moments when I doubt God’s provision, I cling to this concept of tidy faith. When exhaustion, discouragement, and loneliness settle in for a siege on my soul, I cling to truth of Scripture as my life-line. I busy myself with life-giving tasks that remind me I am not defeated. I pray, hard. This is absolutely the appropriate response in difficult times… save for one missing piece: acknowledging the distress.

Recovering perfectionists like myself would never say out loud that we have it all together, but we try to present such confidence in our faith.

Tidy Faith skips the relational step of crying out to God: this hurts! It jumps straight to the part where we preach truth to ourselves (which, of course, is crucial). However, we should not pursue the strength to move on without acknowledging the need for an intimate outpouring of our hearts to God. (Psalm 62:8)

tidy faith

Messy Faith provides this avenue for intimacy with God. He is inviting us to just be real with Him for a change.

Tidy Faith is a breeding ground for false humility. False humility is, in fact,  pride. Often, I think so lowly of my struggles that I assume God does not care about these little battles. Because I am still thinking of myself, albeit negatively, my pride is still on full display. I rewrite first Peter 5:7 to say “cast all your cares on yourself, Becky, because they are too insignificant for God to be concerned.”

Messy Faith gets me thinking about God’s greatness, His kindness… His closeness to invite me, with all my own small problems, into His embrace. With eyes on Him, I can experience the true humility required to let go of presentable faith. Engaging in messy faith gives me permission to be real and honest with my emotions and discouragement. God says that He cares(!), so we should be humble, messy enough to cast all our cares on Him!

messy faith

Tidy Faith upholds a sense of respect and honor towards God. It drives us to worship Him instead of complaining about our distress. While this perspective is necessary and admirable, I believe God wants more than respect and honor. Many of the Psalms exemplify the reality of messy faith. To cry out in anguish, question the Almighty, and lay all burdens of woe at His feet, and still proclaim His faithful lovingkindness. God desires intimate relationship in the untidy moments of despair.

Messy Faith gives us that intimacy.

I should note that we cannot remove faith from the equation. It is tempting to simply allow ourselves to be messy, but we must not let our emotions run rampant, trampling down truth so it can’t heal our hearts. Trust is a choice that should not be confused with emotion.

Can we let go of Tidy Faith.

Can we embrace a messy faith which acknowledges pain, uncertainty, and discouragement?

Could we welcome a wild-haired faith, which brings all the real feelings of a fractured heart to the feet of our Savior?

Dare we champion a disorderly faith which, before moving on to strength-getting and onward-marching, relishes those uncomfortable moments where Jesus meets us, right where we are?

Campfire Check In:

How do you let go of Tidy Faith?

Join me in #40fasts with author Alicia Britt Chole’s book 40 Days of Decrease. Day 5 challenges readers to fast from Tidy Faith, the inspiration for this post.


How to Update Your Swimsuit for Vacation Season

Ok, I don’t have a bunch of fun tips to update your swimwear for an upcoming beach vaca…

but, I do have a little quiz for you:

Q. What do Power Rangers, Audrey Hepburn, and your favorite Pinterest swimsuits have in common?

A. Jessica Ray!

  • Former Power Ranger (the white one)
  • Swimsuit designer (you’ve probably seen her designs on Pinterest)
  • Author and inspirational speaker (Her  book is called Decent Exposure)

This lady is worth 9 1/2 minutes of your time. She is fascinating, beautiful, and has a meaningful message.

I am committed to finding great fashion along side my quest for modesty. Jessica Rey puts into words exactly what I believe about our bodies. God created us (yes women too) in His image. That image should not be “hidden” per say, but rather displayed with dignity, confidence, and to the glory of God. I was very intrigued by the information she presents in her talk “The Evolution of the Swimsuit.” In fact, I couldn’t say it better myself.

So please enjoy her message here:

I also had so much fun looking at her design line! With vacation season right around the corner, you might like to update your swimming suit options. Shop for an ADORABLE swimsuit at Rey Swimwear, where each piece is inspired by the various characters of the gorgeous and graceful, Audrey Hepburn.

My favorite is definitely “Jo” ($49.00) inspired by “Funny Face” (watch the preview for this “s’marvelous” film, here).

I am not affiliated with Rey Swimwear, but I am happy to promote a woman and business with an encouraging perspective of women and fashion.

4 Good Reasons to Stop saying the F-word.

fword picOk, I’m not talking about that F-word… Though I would really like to stop seeing it appear on my Facebook feed. (Shameless plug, my friends.)

Nope, the abominable F-word I am talking about is… dare I say it on my blog?….. FAT.

There is a popular “pin” showing up on Pinterest* lately:


Inigo Montoya is correct. ALL women need to stop using that word. Here is why:

1. You are negatively critiquing God’s masterpiece.

Stop calling yourself fat, please. It hurts my heart. It hurts God’s heart.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

2. Your negative self-talk will stimulate someone else’s.

We need to stop saying the word “fat” for the sake of our mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

See, the word “fat” is a trigger word for other women (and men) who are struggling. Ask a former drug addict what triggers his craving for drugs he no longer uses…. he will say “anything from conversation about drug use to visual stimulation (like movies or pictures).”

It’s a battle to not give in to the temptation. The word “Fat” is the same kind of trigger. It doesn’t make us crave food persay, but it does stimulate that negative-self-talk nerve. We think, “Ooh, she is calling herself fat, well I a have a muffin top no-one can compete with.”

It becomes a self-depreciation epidemic. Internally or vocally, fat-thinking is contagious.

>>I need to pause here and remind myself not to internalize any of the words I am writing. It can be that powerful.<<

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:31

3. Your identity is in Christ.

The issue here is not the word “fat”. I made an amazing chicken chili the other day. When I was trimming the fat off of the chicken, I didn’t have a mental breakdown about my body. Nope, just making dinner.

The problem is the word that comes before “fat”: is / am

These are identity words. “I am fat/she is fat;” rather than “I have too many fat cells.”

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. –Solomon to his wife (also God’s words to His people), Song of Songs 1:15

We have to change the culture we live in. We have to create a shift in identity thinking for ourselves and our families.

Jesus is where our identity starts. If you have surrendered your life** to this One and only Savior, then He is your master… the only one who’s opinion matters. We are daughters of the King of kings… mighty warriors for His Kingdom…. the picture of His love and devotion to a lost and dying world.

We are not FAT.

We may have fat, but it is not who we are.  We can address our health, fitness, and shape in a way that glorifies God and compliments his healthy design for our bodies. But this process DOES NOT INVOLVE identity name calling!!!!

4. God has given us a purpose:

Many internet sensations would now be telling you to just love yourself more. That is bologna.

I am not advocating “love yourself” philosophy. I am encouraging a “get your eyes on Jesus” theology.

We don’t need to love ourselves more. Jesus love for us should be enough! When we get our eyes on Jesus, his death and resurrection to save us, and His work in our daily lives, our perspective changes: We love Jesus more. We think about Jesus, not whether or not we are fat or skinny. And when we are focusing on Jesus, we naturally start living the healthy life of a Christ-follower, spiritually, physically, and mentally.

This “fat identity” thing is only a distraction from the truth of our true purpose and sense of self: to love our God and share His love with the people around us. This is called GOOD NEWS. We cannot be positive about the good news of Jesus if we keep our attention on our negative perspective of our bodies.

I try very very hard to be positive about my body, for all the reasons above. But it is difficult to take a stand in a society that is overrun with parasitic paraphernalia (media) and conversations of negative thinking.

Will you join me in creating a new culture for Facebook, Pinterest, family get-togethers, locker-room self talk, conversations at the gym, and in-front-of-mirror perspectives?

Take down those pins. Delete those posts. Rewrite your Instagram pic descriptions. Change the culture.

#Beautifullymade    #ThankYouJesus

(Check out my “Life Shapers” Pinterest Board for creative and positive truths to pin)

I love you, and I am praying for you.


*Another thing that bothers me about the Pinterest picture is the women who feel they need to take pictures of their bodies in a way that displays so much skin. There is so much I could say about identity, security, and modesty, but I will save it for another day. For now, can we just get our eyes on Jesus, and stop asking for everyone else’s eyes to be on our bodies, whether we feel attractive or not…?

** Have you made the decision to follow Jesus? I would love to share my story with you about how Jesus changed my life. Read about it here.

My 1/2 Marathon Playlist: oldies but goodies for day 10 of Encouraging Work-out Songs

GA-119_2_zoomIn light of it being the last day of 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-out Playlist, I decided to share my whole playlist from the 1/2 Marathon (where this whole encouraging work-out thing began.)

The other day I revived my old Ipod. Since getting a high-tech, music playing phone 1 year ago, I haven’t used my ipod classic. It amazes me how much has changed in a year, particularly in my music taste! Many of these songs are “oldies but goodies,” but many of these songs are still staples in my work out playlist. These are the songs I listened to for several hours while running the 1/2 Marathon; enjoy!

Our God, and No Chains on me by Chris Tomlin

We Were Made for You, and All Things, by Aaron Gillespie

Move forward by Bethany Dillon

Here is our King, Foreverandever etc., I saw the light, You are my Joy, Come Awake, O Praise Him, and We Win by David Crowder*Band

Its Not Good to be Alone by Brandon Heath

Day after Day by Kristian Stanfill

Here Come those Eyes by Chris Rice

Control by JJ Heller

In Exile by thrice

Desperate, Core of my Addiction, What I’ve Overcome, You Give Me that Feeling, Unbreakable, You Gave Me a Promise, and Brand New Day, by Fireflight

Stronger, These Days, Free, by Mandisa

Set Sail by Adam Jackson (A local Wyoming artist who played this song at our wedding. It was incredible, definitely check this music out!)

And of course, the wonderful 1/2 Marathon coordinators played Stronger by Kelly Clarkson at the half-way point… it was awesome!

I still don’t understand how I got through a work-out with such slow melodies and soothing tunes; I think in the end, what motivates me most is not pumping beats. When my heart is lead to soar and I am connecting with God–that is when I am most motivated to bring my body into submission, exercise self-control over my lazy tendencies, and go the distance to be a fit and godly woman.

Don’t forget tomorrow is YOUR PICK! (it would help if I had a few comments to work with 🙂

Catch up on all 10 days to an encouraging playlist here.

Kayaks and Colorful music…Encouraging Work out playlist Day 9: Movements by Rend Collective Experiment

Welcome to 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist: Day 9

2zp7azqHave you heard of Rend Collective Experiment? These guys are super imaginative in their music-making and praise of Jesus. Remaking instruments, hymns, and what it means to be an inspiring and adorable group of adults playing in the forest, this North Ireland worship band makes a wonderful addiction (addition) to the worship music scene.

After hearing the colorful “Movements,” my first thought was not “ooh, new running song.” Yet somehow quite organically it ended up in my work-out playlist. Check out the lyrics and you will see why.

 I wanna soar with You
Upon wings like eagles
But I’ll crawl with You too
When the dark and lonely questions come

I wanna stand true
No matter what’s new or comes through
I can’t stand still
Whatever hits I’ll keep making movements to You

I’m running fast and free to You
‘Causes You are the movement and fight in me
I’m running fast and free to You
‘Causes You are my home where I wanna be
Come move in me
Where I wanna be, come move in me

I wanna float with you
The currents driving me
But I’ll paddle hard too 
When the waves and rapids overcome 

I wanna stand firm
When my mind’s weak and my emotions squirm
I must stand true
Whatever hits I’ll keep making movements to You

I won’t walk away, won’t walk away

The lyrics I love best are the second verse: “I’ll paddle hard too, when the waves and rapids overcome…” Shane’s parents gave us Kayaks! for Christmas and I couldn’t be more ready for a few nearby mountain lakes to melt down so I can enjoy something like this:161918549072380886_14DzKpNW_c

Until then, I use the rowing machine at the gym to strengthen my arms (and my resolve to look hot on the lake) for summertime. I fake row, listening to “Movements”,and enjoying deep communion as I restate my vow of commitment to God, to keep moving with Him, toward Him. No matter what gets in the way, like my pride, the comments of other people, the distractions of the world, I will keep making movements to God, and to work-out and be fit.

Dorky Confession of the day: after I pull off a hard rowing work-out, I pop on nature sounds and water white-noise. Rowing casually with my eyes closed, I imagine a pristine lake and cool breeze. I like to think everyone in the gym gets a kick out of my dreamy moment to cool down. You’re welcome.)

Catch up on 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist:

Day 1: Undignified by Warr Acres

Day 2: Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

Day 3: Lay Me Down featuring Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin

Day 4: No Chains on Me by Chris Tomlin

Day 5: Free by Mandisa

Day 6: Core of My Addiction by Fireflight

Day 7: Oh Praise Him, David Crowder*Band

Day 8: Stronger by Hillsong

Day 9: Movements by Rend Collective Experiment

Tomorrow Day 10: Oldies but Goodies from the past! 

… Day 11: Your Choice! I’ll be featuring the songs YOU appreciate most in your work out. Don’t miss out, tell me your most motivating tune in a comment below!

Sports-Bras and Scripture…Work out playlist Day 8: Stronger by Hillsong

stay-strongWelcome to 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist: Day 8

Yes, I know, I have already featured 1 song titled “Stronger,” by Kelly Clarkson.  In fact, I almost used another song called Stronger, by Mandisa, which you should definitely look up here. Moral of the story? Songs titled “Stronger” are motivating and encouraging songs for the gym.

This song in particular, Stronger by Hillsong, is more of a cool-down song, but such a good reminder of deep truth. The lyrics popped into my head while I was getting dressed for the gym. I was hooking on my sports-bra and started singing to it: You are stronger, you are stronger….

See, I believe there is not greater force than an effective sports-bra. It takes 3 at best to keep my “girls” contained during my routine jog (this is a girls-only post by the way). Sometimes I just want to encouraging my straps to keep being strong.

Lucky for me, the song got stuck in my head. Since it is a slower song, I play it during the deep breaths and stretches post work-out. Breathing in deep, I am reminded that God is stronger, sin is broken, and Christ has saved us. Even if my workout wasn’t all I had hoped (or my sports-bra just didn’t make the cut), I find myself full of the joy of the Lord after meditating on truth.


There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner’s cross you broke my shame and sinfuless you rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny through the storm and through the fire there is truth that sets me free Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger you are stronger
Sin is broken you have saved me it is written Christ is risen Jesus you are Lord of all

No beginning and no end You’re my hope and my defence you came to seek and save the lost you paid it all upon the cross

So let your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher

2 Chronicles 16:9 says:

“For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.”

I want to be that heart! Completely His. I know He will uphold me through all things…. He is strong enough. Friends may fail, family may be far away, my husband may not understand how to comfort, I will eat a cupcake and a milkshake all in one disappointment of a day…. my sports bra may wear out! But the Lord is stronger than all of it! In Him I put my trust.

Don’t forget, Day 11 is our BONUS day: your song picks… comment below with your favorite work out songs; I will share them in the post.

Catch up on 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist:

Day 1: Undignified by Warr Acres

Day 2: Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

Day 3: Lay Me Down featuring Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin

Day 4: No Chains on Me by Chris Tomlin

Day 5: Free by Mandisa

Day 6: Core of My Addiction by Fireflight

Day 7: Oh Praise Him, David Crowder*Band

Day 8: Stronger by Hillsong

Tomorrow Day 9! 

… Day 11: Your Choice! I’ll be featuring the songs YOU appreciate most in your work out. Don’t miss out, tell me your most motivating tune in a comment below!

Work out playlist Day 7: O Praise Him by David Crowder*Band

Welcome to 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist: Day 7


Today’s song is not your typical work out song… but it is one of the most important songs in my playlist. It is also one of the most prominent memories from my run in the Princess 1/2 Marathon.

Like many women, I sometimes struggle with low-confidence and insecurity. It seems at least once a week I let someone down or let myself down. I face personal failure every day, but it is always magnified when it affects someone else. Today, I walked into the gym with a heavy heart, the weight of a specific failure pressing down on me.

I have a tendency to want to please people. If I receive criticism (and sometimes I just assume I am being criticized), I enter into a wrestling match with my flesh. I know that the opinions of others should not define me: I AM A CHILD OF GOD! But my flesh, my human nature, wants to take over and wallow in self-pity and internal questioning.

Thank goodness for an encouraging playlist. I hear the happy piano trills of David Crowder*Band’s song O Praise Him and I am released…. liberated from all the self-focus, worry, and doubt.

I no longer look to me, what others think of me, or even what I think of me…. “ME” is out of the picture as I am drawn to worship. I crank up the treadmill a little faster, and just PRAISE GOD!

He is so worthy of it. So deserving. And you know what? It is so good for us too! When our focus gets off of us (whether that focus is positive or negative) and back on the “love so rescuing”, we are in the best place we can ever be.

So worship. Run, lift, sing, dance……… praise.

I walked out of the gym with a lighter heart (and a lighter weight) after praising God. He is shaping me; like shaping my body, it is going to take some time, but I know in the end that God, “who began a good work in [me], will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Catch up on 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist:

Day 1: Undignified by Warr Acres

Day 2: Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

Day 3: Lay Me Down featuring Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin

Day 4: No Chains on Me by Chris Tomlin

Day 5: Free by Mandisa

Day 6: Core of My Addiction by Fireflight

Day 7: Oh Praise Him, David Crowder*Band

… Tomorrow Day 8 

… Day 11: Your Choice! I’ll be featuring the songs YOU appreciate most in your work out. Don’t miss out, tell me your most motivating tune in a comment below!


Fit my Bikini in Two-thousand-thirteenie… or a goal more God-sized? Day 6 for Encouraging Work out playlist.

Floral Bikini on ClotheslineWelcome to 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist: Day 6

Bible and bikinis: makes a great honeymoon.

This year, I thought about making my New Year’s Resolution to get back to my wedding-weight. Two and 1/2 years ago, I slid into a white dress at 139 lbs. and I looked hot in my bikini for our honeymoon. Needless to say, things have changed.

For you college ladies, you may have been warned about the “freshmen 15″…. for you working women its the “cubical cinquenta” (50)…. for us newly weds, its the “newly-wed weight-woes.” Body change comes in all shapes and sizes after the honeymoon. We cook hearty meals for our husbands, bake cakes to celebrate each month-iversary, and make elaborate cookies he takes to work, making us the MVW: “most valuable wife” for the office. We cleverly think the exciting cardio in the bedroom will offset our heavy eating. Alas, the 1 year anniversary rolled around, and I was shopping for a swim-suit with coverage-frills instead of sexy-thrills. Maybe your first year of marriage didn’t look like this, lucky you. I know there are plenty of us who struggle with the “newly-wed weight-woes”, (some of you may also be mourning the post-pregnancy-pouch).

So I came up with the clever “Fit my Bikini in 2013-y! Mentally chanting it at the gym kept me motivated. Writing it on my goals list made me feel like a champ. After 1 week, it became an addiction.

Not good.

The Bible calls addiction Idolatry: valuing or pursuing something or someone more than God. When my silly little fitness goal became all I read about, wrote about, and pinned about on pinterest, I knew my heart was in the wrong place.

kneelingJesus did not die on the cross so my New Year’s Resolution could be to have a hot-body. 1 John 5:20-21 says

“And we know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life. Little children, guard yourselves from idols.”

My greatest pursuit should be to know Him! Thankfully, a song on my work-out playlist reminds me of this:

Core of My Addiction by Fireflight


You’re the core of my addiction
I want to live, want to lose myself in You
You’re the heart of my obsession
I want to live, but I would die for You
I’m addicted

It reminds me to be obsessed with Jesus; to find my addictive “fix” in His Word, not a lower number on the scale. He is my addiction, so I must transfer my loyalty, my thoughts, my devotion away from a physical goal or desire and back to desiring Him.

bikiniI still want to fit into my bikini* by our anniversary in 2013, but I am pursuing God first! Having a fit body flows out of a desire to worship and honor God in my habits and health. The goal is not to look hot, but to glorify God. In the end, a good wife is not necessarily a woman with a hot-bod, but a woman in love with a great God.

How do you curb your addiction to fitness or being skinny? Help this poor idol-driven girl out and comment below. Scroll down for more songs that help keep my focus on God at the gym.

Your's Truly, Post work-out
Your’s Truly, Post work-out

Catch up on 10 Days to an Encouraging Work-Out Playlist:

Day 1: Undignified by Warr Acres

Day 2: Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

Day 3: Lay Me Down featuring Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin

Day 4: No Chains on Me by Chris Tomlin

Day 5: Free by Mandisa

Day 6: Core of my Addiction

… Day 11: Your Choice! I’ll be featuring the songs YOU appreciate most in your work out. Don’t miss out, tell me your most motivating tune in a comment below!

* I believe that modesty is the best policy in public places, but scantily-clad for your husband-lad is fantastic within the privacy of marriage. The truth is, though, I need to wear a bikini (or a sports bra) underneath my swimsuit or tankini just to keep the “girls” from running off into the deep end without life jackets. I must confess I am always looking for a cute bikini and sometimes wish I could fit into those tiny ones at Target. Want more modesty and practical dressing tips? Click here.