Tag Archives: trusting God

Coincidence or Christ-Evidence?

This morning, I was working out some aspects of my identity, specifically that I am in Christ. That is all that matters–not what I do or don’t do, if I am fantastic or Miss-Awesome-Pants or the epic-failure I often see myself as.

None of it matters. I take my eyes off of me, and look at Christ. I preach the gospel to myself.

Well, a funny thing happened. I’ve been listening to various sermons during my work out every day, and today’s specific sermon was about the EXACT same topic: Finding your identity in Christ.


Pastor Mark Driscoll, of Mars Hill Church, uses some of the exact same verses that God was showing me, the same verse I wrote about in my blog.

It is no coincidence that God revealed the same truth twice in one day, and through different avenues. HE knew the truth I needed (and maybe you need it too?). I am so in love with this God that coordinates truth like Spring rain, washing away my false identity, and refreshing my soul. He makes all things new.

Take some time, maybe during your Saturday morning routine, to listen to this important truth. Here is a link to the sermon. You can also get it on itunes.



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Final Excerpt from Delight Bible Study

Hands down, the most iconic example in my life of a beautiful dance is Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen in “the best things” scene in White Christmas. I remember sitting in front of the TV every December, mesmerized by her swirling pink skirt. Even as a young girl, I wanted to tap and twirl, swing around a pole (before that become a provocative dance), and hear my toes pounding on the boat. They even caught a ride on a zip-line! Danny knew what he was talking about when he sang, “The best things happen while you’re dancing…”

best things

A Delight is a woman who trusts God. She jumps into His arms with complete trust. He leads her faithfully and joyfully through the dance of life, and she follows. Trusting God is so unique because He invites you to make it awesome!

God doesn’t expect His girl to be a timid dancer, wide eyed and wondering what is happening. He gives her confidence and encouragement to shine. As she trusts God, He also trusts her. When He lifts his hand for a spin, He knows she will spin with all her might, flashing a smile the whole time.

In other words, a Delight will value the journey God has given her enough make the most of each moment! Her confidence does not come from personal competency, but rather trusting that God will work in and through her. Her trust in God produces a trustworthiness in her own character.

Trustworthy in the family of God:

“In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” 1 Timothy 3:11

This verse is referring to women in leadership for the church, such as pastor’s wives or women of influence. As a girl grows into a woman of God, she gains more influence in the world around her, including God’s people. As a Delight, she must be trustworthy within the church.

One way to be trustworthy within God’s family is to control your conversation. The Bible warns against women being malicious talkers (1 Tim. 3:11), gossips (Proverbs 11:13), over-sharers (Proverbs 12:23), and liars. (Proverbs 12:22).

A girl who wants to be a trustworthy woman will have self-control over her tongue. The Holy Spirit must help with this, because it is so difficult for girls. We LOVE to tell stories to connect with others. But some stories, whether good or bad, don’t need to be shared. Can you be the gossip stopper? Sometimes, this requires stopping your EARS from hearing a story. A trustworthy woman will ask others to stop talking about a person in gossip, exaggeration, lies, or even “venting.”

The trustworthy girl will also control her words on social media. She does not send words in a text message that she would not speak out loud. She will not display her feelings on Facebook, but later manipulate her personal relationships saying, “I’m fine.”

Again, her confidence to be trustworthy comes from her trust in God. Dancing with Him defines her. Because she doesn’t use different avenues to validate her life, she can be trusted to make a difference in those areas.

Trustworthy in a world of lost people:


The woman at the well, in John 4, became a trustworthy woman. After trusting Jesus, she was faithful to share with her whole village the truth about her own life, and the truth about Jesus. She caught up her skirt and rocked out to the greatest dance of her life, inviting others to do the same.

A girl in today’s world can do the same. She should be willing to share her faith in Jesus with other people. Again, this requires complete trust in God first; otherwise, she will worry about what people think. Sharing your testimony does not have to be a huge project. Your testimony is simply your side of the story: how Jesus saved you.

Jesus tells a story in Luke 19 about a man who was faithful with the little things in life. Because of his hard work and wise actions, he was given responsibility over much more than he expected. Often, a Delight’s greatest longings is to hear God say “well done, good and faithful servant.” We often think we must do something extravagant or spectacular to earn this. But the man in Jesus’ story earned that label after taking care of just 10 coins; the 10 cities came later.

Like the Excellent woman, a Delight who trusts God is a woman who works hard (is completely trustworthy), but also rests well (trust’s God completely). God doesn’t ask us to save non-Christians, or share a convincing argument for the gospel. As we trust Him, He gives us the strength to simply share the good news of our story–our dance–with Jesus.

As Proverbs 13:17 says: “An unreliable messenger stumbles into trouble, but a reliable messenger brings healing.” (NLT) Being a trustworthy messenger will bring healing to a world dying in the pain of sin. Sometimes, people don’t want to hear this message of truth and love. Your friends may reject you for it, or call you a bad friend for sharing. Remember that, “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.” (Proverbs 27:6 HCSB)

La Fin…

fcb8ad45623d489ca6c370a9c3b64b27_820x820This is the final unit of this journey. You have learned so much, and have hopefully grown in your closeness with God. Moving forward, from life as a girl into life as a godly woman, you will face many challenges and confusion. The changes in your life wont always be clear. You may feel stuck, or emotional, or like its all going too fast. You have only learned a speck of the things God wants to teach you as a woman who seeks to delight Him. Though this foundation is a great starting point, your journey is never over. Through it all, will you put your trust in God? As His delight, will you be trustworthy with every detail you have learned about being a godly woman?

Move forward in that trust, encouraged by the words of Paul:

“Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

*For more from Delight: a Joyful Journey to Biblical Womanhood, visit here.

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On Weddings, Trusting God, and “Save the Last Dance for Me.”

Has anyone heard of the back-story to the song, “Save the Last Dance for Me”?

It is beautiful, touching, and you might need a tissue. I included it in my chapter on trusting God for Delight: A Joyful Journey to Biblical Womanhood. Here is a short excerpt from 7.4 Saving the Last Dance?”:

I love wedding receptions. Living in the sparse state of Wyoming gives me few decent opportunities to dance. My husband dislikes dancing, but he tags along because he knows it makes me so glad. One of my favorite songs for a wedding reception is Save the Last Dance for Me. With a latin flair and lyrics about devotion, it makes a great crowd pleaser between toasts and cake.

docpomusThe songwriter, Doc Pomus, actually wrote Save the Last Dance for Me about his own wedding reception. (Jeff Cochran, 2010, likethedew.com*) Pomus was born in June 27, 1925; at age six, he lost the use of his legs due to polio. Unable to dance at his wedding, he encouraged his bride to enjoy herself with other men on the dance floor. The only catch was: she must promise to save the “final dance” for him. He says, “don’t forget who’s taking you home, and in who’s arms you’re gonna be, save the last dance for me.”

I do not believe that the act of dancing is wrong, as long as the movement brings honor to God and respect to both partners. Still, any style of dance has the potential to bring connection and intimacy between partners. That connection, though trivial, is why the man in the song warns his bride not to give her heart to anyone.

Many girls need the same warning about their own relationship with God. After joining the dance, she willingly lives her life by trusting God’s leading. But every once in a while, she chooses to place her trust in someone else. She lets a new dance partner “cut-in” for a while; transitioning easily into his arms, she trusts every lead by the new partner. In her mind, the girl is always planning on coming back to full trust in Jesus; till then, she will explore and have her fun, always saving the last dance for Him.

last dance 2

Pomus’s lyrics display the devoted yet sensitive nature of the songwriter. He is jealous for his bride, not in a sinful sense, but in a way that makes him long for her to prove her loyalty. The apostle Paul reflects a similar jealously that God has for us: “For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)

The popular worship hymn, How He Loves, puts it this way: “He is jealous for me, He loves like a hurricane and I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his love and mercy.” (How He Loves, by John Mark Mcmillan)

You may have heard some girls say, “sure, I believe in God, but I’m going to get my fun out of the way before I really follow Jesus.” These aren’t the “dance alone” girls. They aren’t being control freaks over their life; instead, they are allowing other people or things lead them. The girl who chases after anything but God is like a bride dancing with every other man in the room; we might think she doesn’t trust her one husband.

Anyway, I have always loved Michael Buble’s rendition of the song, but knowing the story makes it so much sweeter. Every time I hear the song, I will surely remember my relationship with God. These lyrics inspire me to greater devotion…. to display my love and trust for my Savior.

Want to go deeper? Read this full note here.


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“I got this”…… but I really don’t.

Proverbs 3:5

Here is an excerpt from a chapter on trust, from my book found at Delightbiblestudy.wordpress.com. There are a lot of things I am trying to handle on my own right now. This unit is a good reminder that life is a dance. I have been invited to trust Jesus and follow His lead, but sometimes, I prance around the dance floor on my own instead. Proverbs 3 is always an important reminder to let go, let God….


Proverbs 3:5-8 says

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.”


trust chairFrom pastor and author J.D Greear’s perspective, a woman who trusts in herself is like a person who believes a chair can hold her weight, but she never sits down. She’ll stand next to the chair, praising it, but relies on her own tired legs to hold her up.

You might appreciate Jesus for inviting you to dance. You could tell Him how wonderful He is, sing songs about his love, study the “dance,” but never take His hand and twirl in His arms.

So many girls agree: the dance is beautiful and exciting. But there are many ladies, dressed in their finest ball gowns, dancing without a partner, awkward and alone.

Sarai was a self-trusting woman. In Genesis 15:4-6, Abram, Sarai’s husband, encounters God, who promises Abram to have many descendants. Genesis 16:1-4 explains how Sarai doubted her ability to produce these descendants, so she asks her husband to sleep with her maid, Hagar. Hagar’s baby brought much pain and fighting between Sarai and Hagar. Later, the Lord promises a baby to come specifically through Sarai (whose name was then changed to Sarah) when she was 90 years old (Genesis 17:15-19). This promise was repeated again in Genesis 18:9-15; this time, Sarah laughed at the thought of having a baby. Her journey was so bitter, so misguided when it came to trusting God; why would He use her now? Finally, in Genesis 21:1-7, we read of the blessed day that God gave Sarah her son, Isaac.

God had invited Sarah to trust Him, to take part in His plan to make a great nation. Unfortunately, Sarah chose not to trust God, and trusted her own ideas instead. Her plan, to give her maiden to her husband, was not something God had commanded. In the end, choosing to trust herself created chaos within her family.

A girl who trusts her own abilities and strength is volunteering for an awkward downfall.

Trusting self leads to the belief that sin is secret. This kind of girl chooses to “dance alone” so that no one will be close enough to see her faults, like her ugly shoes or clumsiness. Trying to live with self-confidence (instead of Christ-confidence) makes a girl so internal, she often isn’t aware of how her sin affects herself, or others: “You felt secure in your wickedness and said, ‘No one sees me.’ Your wisdom and your knowledge, they have deluded you; for you have said in your heart, ‘I am, and there is no one besides me.’” Isaiah 47:10

Sarah believed this about herself. We can see it in her decision to take matters into her own hands. Remember the story about Hannah (Chapter 4: Integrity); she faced the same situation as a woman who could not bear children. Instead of trying to control the situation, she prayed. Weeping her concerns to God, Hannah joined in the dance, bringing every need into His arms, trusting in His plan.

Like Hannah, when we delight in the Lord, joining in the dance with Him, we discover just how trustworthy He is:

“Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgment as the noonday.” (Psalm 37:1-4)


Thankfully, Sarah’s story also magnifies the faithfulness of God. No matter what Sarah did, God still chose to use her, and fulfill His promises to her. He never stopped inviting her to trust Him, to dance with Him.

Our God holds great promises for the woman who choses to trust Him, even when if feels easier to just “do it herself.”

  • Are you looking for peace? Put aside the need for control and micro-management, remembering that God “will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in [Him].” (Isaiah 26:3)
  • Do you feel hopeless? Stop relying on your own abilities “as you trust Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:13)
  • Are there wounds and pain in the core of who you are? Trusting in the Lord brings healing to your bones (Proverbs 3:8a).
  • images-1Are you tired or exhausted? God promises His girl to be refreshed when she trusts in Him. (Proverbs 3:8b)

A girl who knows the trustworthiness of God, and the truth of His promises, finds it a simple decision to trust Him. She sees the silliness of her self-trust dancing alone, and joyfully leaps into His arms for the next jitter-bug swing.

……………. Read the full unit, “An Awkward Solo,” here.

In so many ways, I need to return to the simple wisdom of Proverbs. I can’t do it on my own…. “it” being everything: meeting expectations, reaching goals, checking off my to-do list, becoming a godly woman, serving my husband, ministry….

The truth is, I don’t “got this.” But God does. I love that I can rest in the assurance of that. And I can stop “killing myself” to be the savior of the world (Jesus already did that successfully).

(P.S.: I’m not even a mom yet! How do moms function in a world of uncertainty like motherhood, if I can’t even let go of control in my kid-less world?! Anyone care to comment?)

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Embracing the Day…

I just posted a piece on trusting God over in Delight Bible Study.

I realize that I like to be a wallflower, especially during mornings. I am slow to get moving toward God, embracing the day. I am lazy with my trust…. I take my precious time. Give me coffee, let me scramble some eggs, and maybe surf Facebook before I even think about participating in God’s work for me today.

Let me cling to my wall, like a wallflower, trusting its familiarity to hold me up. Maybe after a shower I will take the leap into all God has for me today.

While I don’t think I have a chronic issue with not trusting God (I might eat those words later), I will acknowledge my slothfulness in the mornings.

Ezekiel 13:10-11 & 14 explains how humanity builds crumbling walls of false security, painting them with whitewash to make them look sturdy:

“And when anyone builds a wall, behold, they plaster it over with whitewash;  so tell those who plaster it over with whitewash, that it will fall. A flooding rain will come, and you, O hailstones, will fall; and a violent wind will break out….So I [God] will tear down the wall which you plastered over with whitewash and bring it down to the ground, so that its foundation is laid bare; and when it falls, you will be consumed in its midst. And you will know that I am the Lord.”

I think I have made a white-washed-wall out of my morning routine: I cling to Pinterest, Facebook, a few text messages, food, a shower, and maybe a nap before I step into the light of day (can you say “Not. A. Morning. Person.?).

While these things aren’t evil on their own, I cling to them to get me through the waking-up process. Anything I cling to other than God is an idol. I am a white-washed-wall-flower….. and my walls aren’t very sturdy.

So I’m taking my own advice from a Bible study written for teen girls: trust God, leap, participate for all He has planned for me, EMBRACE THE DAY!

I will abandon my walls before they crumble. I will place my trust in the Lord in the morning, first thing!

Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in You; Teach me the way in which I should walk; For to You I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

What are the walls you are clinging to today?


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This one time……I wrote a Book

“I exalt you, I exalt you, You’re the color of my world.”

These song lyrics have been in my head since 3pm yesterday, the moment I typed my last sentence for the Bible Study I have been writing for 3 years.


Birthed in my mind in 2007, this Bible-study for young women has been a long process to becoming something tangible. The road to publishing is still a mile away, but I am so blessed by this journey God is leading me through. Only by His guidance and giving me faithfulness could this have ever happened. Everyone knows it: I’m a vision-caster, not quite a project finisher.

And for that, God gets all the glory…. and I will continue to sing:

“The troubles they are many
And I feel I’m losing
But You rescue me in Your time
Glorious One You redeem all my mistakes

There’s nothing that’s stronger than Your overwhelming grace
And Your truth is my wide open space, I exalt You!”

So now you know why I have been distant from Failures, Faith, and Freckles…. I put the hammer down on all writing till the book was finished, first draft at least.

The road from here, as far as I know (any published friends want to give me the skinny on it?), is:

  1. Post rough draft to the Bible study blog: delightbiblestudy.wordpress.com
  2. Enjoy a grueling process of editing via self and others (any volunteers?)
  3. Comprise final draft
  4. Attain Copyright
  5. Send to publishers (I have been in contact with a few people over at LifeWay (!) so we will see what happens.)
  6. Continue to give glory to God and follow the Holy Spirit’s leading.

The final installments are still on their way up on the Delight-blog, but very soon you should be able to read the full book here.

I’ve had a zillion things I’ve wanted to write about, so look forward to more posts soon.

Oh, and the song, Exalt, is by Rend Collective Experiment, my new worship-band addiction.

just His girl


Be blessed everyone!

~Becky (officially now an author 🙂

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The Art of Falling Gracefully

falling gracefullyI failed again. Life does not have a rewind button, and words spoken do not return to my mouth. I gossiped. I spoke a word that shouldn’t have been said. And it happened so fast, so naturally, so… like… me.

Ugh, will I ever gain control over my tongue?! I have been praying for help in this specific area for months now! But I keep messing up, failing, and falling to my shame and the humiliation of others.

Won’t God just please give me the self-control to shut UP!?

Maybe. But I have a feeling I encounter failure in this area for the rest of my life.

More importantly, I think God wants to teach me a different lesson first:

I used to be a figure skating instructor. Toddlers, young girls, even women in their 60’s learned the skills and technique to turn, jump, spiral, and spin; and I had the joy of teaching them.

The very first skill a skater must learn, though, is to fall. As much fun it is to glide through a beautiful routine and train for the big jumps and spins, the potential to hurt one’s body by falling incorrectly is too great to ignore.

To fall correctly while ice-skating, a person must aim to fall on his or her “heineken,” on the soft part of the butt-cheek. This spot will cushion the rest of the body from the impact, and will not easily break (though it may bruise). I had little kids who loved to fall on their knees, big kids who aimed for their tail-bones, and adults who  threw their hands back to catch themselves before they would fall on their bums. Each of these puts more weight and strain than the respective body-part can handle.

My Students and I in 2008
My Students and me in 2008

My students never appreciated me for it, but I forced them to practice falling correctly…. especially if they developed a habit of falling on the wrong area. My adult students were afraid to practice falling; but falling by accident is inevitable, and training your body to fall correctly is the best way to ensure a safe landing every time.

I can relate to those women so well now. I am afraid to fall. I don’t want to be forced to fall. I definitely don’t want to practice. But God has a great plan to train me in this life to be a faithful and graceful Daughter of God. Failing is inevitable, but I have developed a “bad-falling habit,” and my coach is going to retrain me to fall gracefully.

Every time I fall in this Christian-walk, I do so without any measure of gracefulness. I get down on myself, doubt God’s work in me, and flirt with the desire to quit. I want to hide in my room, under the covers, and ignore the spiritual battle upon my flesh. I feel like giving-up on ministry and even trying to make a difference in other’s lives. I want to duct-tape my mouth with a “it’s not worth hearing” label.

All of my thoughts spiral inward on me, myself, and I– and it’s not pretty. Like a figure-skater spazzing out of a triple-lutz, twisting her ankle, impacting her elbow, and landing flat on her side sprawled out all over the icy surface–I fail very ungracefully.

Over the past month, I have encountered my failures more times than I can count. Maybe I’m just suddenly aware of it, now that I am writing a blog labeled “Failures, Faith, and Freckles.” Maybe the Holy Spirit has a specific plan to “prune” me into a new level of sanctification and Christ-likeness, so He is re-training me to fall gracefully. Whatever the case, IT IS EXHAUSTING.

But He is the coach; I am the student. He knows the bigger picture for my safety, success, and overall beauty in this sport… er… life. So He teaches me to fail with grace: grace for myself, grace for the people around me, grace for the process. He trains me to swiftly rise up like it’s nothing… there is a song I am skating to and the crescendo approaches. I have an audience watching… not to see me sprawled out like a dead pigeon, though that may entertain them for a moment. No, I am in this life, like a skater gliding across the ice, to display a sense of beauty, grace, and artistic talent: not mine though… Christ’s!

To fall correctly in this Christian walk, I must glorify God from the ground. With humility and trust, I will set my mind on Christ. and the beautiful life-routine He has choreographed for me.

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The No-show Blues: leading a Bible study when only 1 person shows up

adult-bible-study2Ministering to college students includes a unique factor of epic inconsistency in numbers. Particularly for those of us in small-town ministries, most pastors and Bible study leaders have experienced the night when only 1 person shows up. Our experience typically follows a strict schedule of worry, insecurity, then eventual trust in God.

Within the first 1/2 hour ministry is supposed to begin, I will have gone through the following thinking process:

  1. Is this the right evening?
  2. Was there a major car accident blocking the road?
  3. Did everyone collaborate to go bowling and forgot to inform the one person who came to Bible study?
  4. Is my teaching/leading really that bad?
  5. I wonder if I should text all of them.
  6. I worked so hard on this lesson, should I save it for a larger group next week, or share it with just one person?

5824After making it through issues of personal insecurity presumed to be dealt with in my high-school years, I realize I need to cut the mental break-down and the small talk. This one person showed up to meet with God; it is my job to actually engage him/her* in some meaningful conversation.

So I move forward with the lesson. God planned it for this night for a reason, even if only for one person. We go deeper personally into the word, talking together about how it impacts each of us. There is more feedback and intimacy–not what I was expecting for the material. Eventually, we get to the topic of salvation. Turns out, this one person has never heard the gospel explained. Thinking themselves as a Christian by default, (s)he kept coming to Bible study.

I share my testimony, read truth from John and Romans, and wait for a response. The individual says thank you for sharing and promised to think hard about it. While (s)he hasn’t accepted Christ yet, (s)he keeps coming to Bible study (and, for the record, so does the rest of the group).

Regardless, this moment reminded me of my insecurity. With all my planning and organization, I am insufficient; I recall my great need to rely on the Holy Spirit. I rearrange the importance of salvation conversations in my mind. He gives me courage to hope for a 1-person Bible study more often.Young Adults

From now on in my study preparations, I pray to be faithful and reliant on Him for whatever opportunity He brings.

*name and gender withheld for confidential reasons

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Lessons in faith from 20-year-old-Becky

South Padre Island 2008
South Padre Island 2008

Today I stumbled upon a journal entry I wrote in my early college years. I was going through a stage of loneliness at the time. Having never dated, much less go out on a date, I remember really wanting a boyfriend. I longed for companionship, especially after watching a romantic flick or, in this instance, seeing couples walk on the beach together.

Despite the loneliness, the truth of God’s love pierced my heart in a way that redefined my whole perspective. Now, exactly 4 years later, I am so glad I wrote it down.

January 5, 2008:

beach 2008“There I was, walking barefoot on the beach, alone, and yet so filled with the presence of my Heavenly Father I couldn’t help but smile.  I had wished for somebody to hold my hand, but God sent a wave to come up and caress my toes instead.  I had felt a longing for somebody to tell me I was beautiful, but I heard the sound of the surf crashing upon the rocks, clapping in unspoken appreciation for the daughter created in her Father’s image.  I yearned for somebody to find me worthy enough to plant a kiss upon, and God revealed the sun who kissed me so passionately I won’t be rid of freckles for months…

…I saw love and devotion between two human-beings several times on that beach, but none compares to the way my God loves me. He loves me.”

The Becky-of-today is blown away by the faith of Becky-from-years-past. Reading the words of hope reassures me again today. I lose heart too often, over big things and little things. Then it was loneliness, now its over-crowded living rooms. My 20-year-old self reminds me to take up courage and faith, because God is a great and trustworthy God, whose love never falters.

To those who are doubting, lonely, overwhelmed, hurt, feeling pathetic, going-crazy, or sighing yet again from a heavy burden…I don’t dare to have an encouraging word for the boat we all find ourselves in, but I take comfort that my 20-year-old-self does.

Shane and Becky 2008P.S. It happened sooner than I thought! God blessed me with a great guy who loves the Lord and has kissed almost every freckle on my face. Here we are shortly after we started dating later that year.

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Much needed Musings


During the Christmas season, I got out of the habit of my daily morning time with the Lord.
Actually, I took a break from all good habits. I greatly anticipated the newness of that number “13” tacked on to the back of our millennium… it is motivating, refreshing, encouraging really.

So here I am, enjoying some egg casserole and a cup of African Solstice tea. The sunshine and my teacup coordinated today, reminding me to shine forth in the joy of the Lord.

The last few weeks, I have been determined to finish writing my book. The final two chapters of Delight: a Joyful Journey toward Biblical Womanhood are “Humility” and “Trust.” Humility and trust just happen to be the two details of my humanity that I struggle with most. Just thinking about writing these concepts make me want to shrink down and crawl inside my tea cup, not shine forth. In a word, I am intimidated.

Every chapter I’ve written, I encountered a dramatic meeting with my own depravity. Chapter 1 dealt with being a woman of Decision… so I went through a month-long process of truly defining my decision to follow Christ: when did it start, where are the roots? Would I choose to follow Christ if it didn’t fit with my culture, my family? Was it too easy for me? Does that decision to follow Christ really define the rest of me?

Chapter 2, on Excellence, presented a greater challenge to face my own laziness and people-pleaseing problem. The following chapters on love, integrity, and gentleness all presented further opportunities to grapple with my selfish nature.

Still, nothing compares to the grinding sift that is writing about humility.

Here are my musings on the subject… what God is teaching me today during my Breakfast with Him:

Z110/155: LM of amoeba proteus "walking"My Pride is like a great amoeba blob of selfishness contained by a thick lining of insecurity. I think that in times my pride is “hurt,” a better picture is that my pride is “squished.” Because if I am humbled in one area, I ensure my pride is elevated in another. I do anything I can to keep the general mass of my pride from being depleted. When one lump is pushed down, another puffs up.

For instance, I was running late for a meeting Shane and I had with a friend. I have been working on “being on-time” all year: but this day, alas, I was not.

Recognizing my short-coming in this area, I immediately started spouting off about all the things I did well that day: shoveling the walk, cleaning, etc… I told Shane, “I need to outweigh my incompetence with a few successful moments, so I don’t feel like a complete failure at life.”

Really all I was doing was allowing a cushion for my pride. I may be brought low in this area, but look how great I am in a different one.

Reasoning this way brought me back to face my greatest fear: being a failure. This fear is directly rooted in pride and some form of false self-preservation.  A woman of humility doesn’t care if she fails; true perspective is she will always fail! Only Christ’s work remains, the rest just falls useless and redundant.

My fear of failure dissipates when I return to the cross. The Word of God pierces through the wall of insecurity, draining my self-filled amoeba of all my pride. My Savior, hanging on a cross for me–it takes me to my knees in humility. Undeserving wretched woman that I am, He still loves me!

That is what having Breakfast with Jesus does to me: reminds me of my own personal insignificance and the great significance of Jesus Christ. I remember that I am loved, and that being loved by the Holy God is far greater than being continually successful. My pride no longer matters.

The work is done. I will work on the chapter later, but for now, I am going to sip my tea, munch on a few leftover spritz Christmas cookies, and spend some much-needed time musing on this great God I find myself having breakfast with. Then forward, to shine bright His light, sharing the hope as a woman of humility, in progress.

(Join me in this Joyful Discovery of Biblical Womanhood at delightbiblestudy.wordpress.com, and read more about what God is teaching me about humility.)

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